Spy-Inspired Success: Mastering Social Situations with Calm Confidence

What type of person did you admire growing up? As a small child watching a spy movie or TV show, what characters popped out to you and grabbed your attention?

Now that you’re in a later stage, do you ever think back to those times and wonder why you admired those characters? 

Here’s how you can take those childhood memories, analyze them, and give you direction on your personal development journey. 

Let’s get back into the meat of this. 

I grew up watching spy movies, the Mission Impossible James Bond-type movies (speaking Sean Connery or Daniel Craig type). I always found the way a spy carried himself fascinating. 

There was a sort of suaveness, cold confidence about their mannerisms. There was something about a person who could stay cool under immense pressure (gunfire and explosions type pressure).

It is very beneficial to have an example of what it looks like to act a certain way. When I was in school and throughout my early career I developed a habit of saying to myself when things went wrong “Cool under pressure”.  

Check out this video and tell me it doesn’t make you feel like a badass. 

Daniel Craig’s Best James Bond Moments(2006-2021)

I used these people to begin to develop my cool suave demeanor, although I did know that these were just made-up characters in movies.

Here are 3 quick takeaways on how I used this movie character to gain confidence in social situations:

I’ll go ahead and start with the bonus. If you watched the video above you’ll notice that being in relatively good shape makes up a majority of the confidence you will have in yourself.

Imagine being 50 pounds overweight, trying to chase a bad guy down. It’s just not possible. Here are the few traits I thought were the most important thing and what I try to practice myself.

Now back to the list.

STEP 1: Be Cool Under Pressure. 

You might be wondering what that even means. Here are a few examples.

When you start to get stressed out or things around you start to get tense, is your default mode to go into a panic? Does all logic go out the window?

The key in those stressful high-stakes situations is not to try to block your emotions but to recognize them and recognize that your situation is stressful. 

After you recognize and accept your circumstances, take a few minutes to respond. 

You can start by taking just a second longer to reply to someone and just think about your emotions at that moment. After a while, you will be able to do this even when things are exploding around you. 

I’ll be writing a longer post on this at a later time.

The benefits of being calm while everyone else is panicking is also explained by Robert Greene in his book The 48 Laws of Power. 

Step 2: Be Comfortable in Different Places. 

One day a spy might walk into a Gala (I linked it because I know you were going to look it up), and the next, he’s going into the most divey bar you have ever been to. Where if you ask for a lemon martini you’ll get a shaken vodka soda with lime.

Either way, you should be able to feel comfortable in any environment. This also helps not attract attention to you when you are in an unfamiliar environment.

An easy way to get comfortable for example is to befriend the bartender as fast as possible. If you do it right they will be able to point out any dangers and look out for you.

Going out to a bar in a new city, the only person who would know I have never been there is the bartender when they eventually ask if I’ve been there before.

Step 3: Be Resourceful

This is a pretty simple concept, but I can give a few scenarios of why being resourceful is another characteristic I worked on.

Scenario 1: 

You’re out on a night out and the restaurant you planned to go to with this fly girl is unexpectedly closed.

You would think damn, I had no other place in mind, but someone resourceful and quick on their feet would pull up your maps and find the next closest thing and without hesitation, you roll over to the new spot.

As simple as it is, you’re making yourself resourceful and making a decisive decision (also an attractive characteristic).

Scenario 2: 

There is an event you’re in charge of, and one of your vendors cancels on you last minute.

Someone resourceful would quickly start looking for the next best vendor. This would be the number one first to put out. 

While doing research, you would also reach out to your network to figure out if anyone else would have a lead on a new one so that you can more quickly solve this issue.

These are a few characteristics out of the many others that I see as valuable because they will become extremely useful traits as your life goes on.

At the end of it all,

When watching these movies, to gain inspiration, remember that he is a fictional character and things are exaggerated in film.

These are the main points to build a framework to get you out of your normal thinking patterns. In the end you must develop your personality while remembering some of these core things